David's Blog

Ok, time for another 10 things .

These are 10 things you do not want to see on food packaging, going with 10 to 1, in no particular order.

Ok, I found a few more to add in my demented brain, so it goes past 1 (and past 10, why, I don’t know, I told you my brain was demented).

11. “You know it’s good for you because we told you so”.

10. “May contain traces of various food or food-like substances (so if you like, die or something while eating this, it’s really not our fault, really, it’s not)”

9. “Caution, we sell this product so it WILL burn your mouth if you consume straight away, so there, now we’ve warned you”

8. “May contain traces of food”.

7. “May not contain traces of food”.

6. “If you find something edible in here, we didn’t do it”.

5. “The chicken is not dry, it’s just well cooked”.

4. “Just because we are chinese, it’s doesn’t mean we can cook”.

3. “If this product improves your health, it’s not our fault”.

2. “May lead to premature death”.

1.  “Don’t say we didn’t yell you so”.

1. “Just because this looks like food….well….you know the rest”.

1. “‘Nutritional value: Nil’, is not a typo”.

1. “Directions for use: Close your eyes and swallow (think happy thoughts)”.

1. “Serving suggestion: Proceed with caution”.

1. “And you thought smoking was bad for you….”.

1. “When we say nuts, you know we don’t really mean nuts”.

1. “This meal is heart tick approved, no really, it is, why are you laughing, stop laughing”.

1. “Your guess is as good as ours…”

1. “We have lawyers because we care”.

1. “Product commonly eaten”.

1. “Just think, you could be eating cardboard”.

1. “If you can’t pronounce the ingredients list, don’t worry, neither can we”.